Dec 19, 2021
“Every great loss demands that we choose life again. We need to grieve in order to do this. The pain we have not grieved over will always stand between us and life… Grieving allows us to heal, to remember with love rather than pain. It is a sorting process. One by one you let go of the things that are gone and you mourn for them. One by one you take hold of the things that have become a part of who you are and build again.” — Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.
Guest Introduction:
Hey, everyone, welcome to another episode of the podcast. I am so glad that you are here.
Exploring the Seasons of Life, a podcast for women with a big heart on a spiritual journey. I'm your host Cindy MacMillan I help midlife women navigate the seasons of their life and stop waiting for permission to live the life they want.
Each week I interview coaches and spiritual explorers, from all walks of life about beginnings, endings and the messy bits in between. Self-love, well-being and mindset are at the heart of our conversations. Because once you change the inside, the outside will begin to change as well.
I am delighted to introduce my guest.
Barbara Friesen is a retired nurse with degrees in counselling and leadership coaching and she has several healing designations including Reiki Mastery and Tao Healing Hands but her most important credential is as a person who has experienced profound grief and loss , someone who has learned to transform her grief and sadness to courage and hope. She can now reach out to others who are in despair and offer them hope and a path forward from profound loss.
Here’s a glimpse of our conversation:
Hi, Barbara. Thanks so much for joining me today.
1:45 I think the seasons of life are part of being human. And we are all going to go through many seasons in our lives. We're going to go through the full cycle of many seasons in our lives. And I think we need to lean into the seasons. They're all important.
3:07 I started doing these cold swims about a year ago. Many of my friends think that I'm a little a little crazy to do this because I live in Vancouver BC it's cold here in the winter. And one of the things about cold swims that I learned from the master of cold swims a fella by the name of Wim Hof.
6:22 As a nurse, I worked in mental health for many years and worked with people that have severe mental illnesses, and sort of cut my teeth on, you know, counseling skills, doing that work. I also, I trained as an executive coach, I had a master's degree in leadership, and I started working with people later in my career, helping leaders become better leaders.
10:33 Yeah, it's a really good question. I think self-care. For me started with, I have to learn to heal myself before I can help anyone else. And that's a really important piece, especially if you're going to reach out to other people, for people who've, you know, been shattered by the loss of someone close to them.
12:21 I also suggest that people have at least one person in their life that they can talk to about their grief, they can talk to about the person they've lost. Someone who really hears them, someone who understands them, and someone who doesn't try and fix it. But is just there; as a witness, I hear you, I see you, I feel your pain and I'm here with you.
16:42 It's very common for people to get stuck. I certainly was. And I think we can do much, much better than just survive. At that point, we really need to learn how to get the wheels of our vehicle out of the ruts of grief, because the longer we're in it, the more entrenched these wheels, get in the ruts. And the harder it is to get out.
22:56 Yes, I think rituals are very important. And it's one of the ways that I try to help people to honor their loved one is develop rituals. And oftentimes, when we've lost someone, one of the barriers to healing is that we feel guilty. I could have done more, I wish I'd done this, instead of that.
You can find Barbara Friesen at:
Website Facebook
If you LOVED this conversation with Barbara Friesen you’ll also love the conversations we had with:
Finding Your Inner Peace with Lydia Knoor
Let’s get Vulnerable with Kayleen Johnson
The Power of Your Emotions with Manisha Tare
Grief and Secondary Losses with Nesreen Ahmed
Conversation with End-of-Life Doula, Hannah Fowler
Redefining Death with Jessica Wertz
Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed this episode and you’d like to help support the podcast, please share it with others, post about it on social media, or head over to iTunes to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Leaving a rating and review helps to improve rankings in iTunes, it shows engagement which may attract sponsors and is essential for the podcast to be discovered by new listeners + it would mean the world to me.